I'm lying here in my bed. With mixed emotions. Feeling so elated...something I haven't felt in a long time. But yet I feel sad at the same time. For the one person I want to share my happiness with, is still upset with me.. I don't even know why anymore :( kinda heart sore don't you think?
Today I can rightfully say... I miss my friend!! We've been bffs for 9years. If not more. I don't know what went wrong. But apparently I broke us. *tear. I hope that wherever she is though, that life is treating her good. I wish she could share in my happiness and still could be part of my life. But I suppose there was a reason we "broke" up.
I wish I could cast everything aside and just speak to her. Tell her of my trials over the past year. Tell her that I made it. I survived that horrible ordeal. And that I'm ecstatic for the future. But what if she's still hurting? What if she's not ready yet. Wouldn't it be selfish of me? Obviously things won't go back to normal. Coz its been broken for so long. But what if? Just what if the feelings mutual? Wouldn't that be great?
Aaargh! I hate feeling so dumb! I hope she knows that I still care about her. That I wish things could have been different. That I still think about her and still cherished all our mad moments together! And that I would like to have her by my side once more.
What's the point of happiness if you can't share it.. Right?
No comments:
Post a Comment